Today is Bryan's 43rd birthday!! For the past two weeks we have been planning and preparing for a surprise birthday party for him. We invited all of our family and Bryan's close friends to the hospital. Bry came into the cafeteria to about 35 people yelling "surprise!!" The look on Bry's face was priceless!! So was the moment right after when he swiveled his wheelchair around, as if to compose himself! He spent the next couple of hours eating, visiting, smiling, and blowing out his candles. We could tell he was getting tired (he starts nodding or shaking his head to answer as opposed to talking).

It was truly a blessing to celebrate his day with him and our family and friends. His happiness today was more then we could ever ask for and the day was a complete success. We will remind him about it tomorrow, in the event he doesn't remember. Back in April and May we couldn't even think about today, not knowing if he would have another birthday to celebrate. We thank God everyday that he does and his smiles today meant the world to us.

We have mentioned a few times about the group the Bryan's Brigade, who have come together to support us and Bryan. They sent ornaments for his tree, birthday cards and together they made a beautiful, very personal quilt for Bry's birthday (we posted a picture here on this site). We have included a video that was made, with love, for Bryan, that include only some of the group. There are many more, but these beautiful faces represent loyalty and love, even if we have never met them. We are so thankful for the Bryan’s Brigade, as well as all of you, who have been there for Bryan and our family every step of the way.

Happy Birthday Bryan!!! You are SO loved by SO many.

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Hi everyone!

Today is Super Bowl Sunday and no, we would not let a Super Bowl pass for Bryan and not have a Super Bowl "party". We are bringing food and snacks to him at the hospital, where we will hang out in the day room and eat and watch the game. Because Bryan has finally been able to take all of his many medications orally, he had his G-tube removed on Friday, so he gets to eat what we bring him today! Yet another step in a very positive direction. His therapies seem to be wearing him out lately. It could be because they are trying to be more aggressive, but they are also trying to see just how independent he can be: feeding himself, testing his cognitive memory, helping them move him from his wheelchair to his bed. Sometimes he can feed himself but it takes a LONG time. They plan on raising one of his medications that make him more alert since he tends to chew his food for a long time, making them concerned about his alertness and swallowing. He is now totally off one of his 3 seizure medications so that should only help. It's always nerve-wracking as they lower the seizure medicines, since something has happened pretty much every time. But, so far so good. It's become more obvious to us every day that Bry's short term memory was hugely affected and doesn't seem to be getting better. He can't tell us who was visiting the day before or even sometimes that same day. Its really hard but we try and think of all the positives.
Bryan had a great week for visitors. Thursday, Tim Flannery and his wife came and met Bry. Tim and his band the Lunatic Fringe, along with Bob Weir from the Grateful Dead, participated in a fundraiser in Napa, which was so much fun. We were able to attend and the turn out was unbelievable. The amount of support never fails to amaze us. Friday Jeremy Affeldt visited. Jeremy hadn't seen him since August or September and was so happy with Bryan's progress. He sat and talked with us and Bryan for about an hour, which is pretty amazing considering how busy he is.
Dave's birthday was on the 2nd. He was home watching Erin's son Logan but got the best birthday present. A call from Bryan! Ann helped Bry call and wish Dave a happy birthday.

We picked this song because its so beautiful and the message of it being a brand new day and making the past the past is basically our lives now, and Bryan is our hero.

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Bryan continues to amaze all of us! We love that he has a sense of humor again, even with a look he can make us all laugh. We hope his feeding tube can be removed soon since he can now eat ground food. He seems seems to like it, except he still seems to not like peas, which Erin couldn’t agree more..
We have always said that this couldn’t have happened to Bryan for nothing and that some good has got to come from it. For us, it brought our family closer together than ever before. For the bigger picture we have wanted to use Bryan’s story to raise awareness about fan violence and brain injuries. Our family has learned more about traumatic brain injuries than we ever thought possible. The more we learned, the more we realized just how little is known about it. Dr. Manley has stressed to us about the lack of funding when it comes to TBIs and is a big advocate on making it known. Through a support group we found out about a walk in San Jose on March 31st to support the Brain Injury Association of California. The date of the walk is one year to the day Bryan was hurt. There’s no way we could NOT do this. Our team name (so cleverly thought of by Tyler) is “Get Stow-ked”. Tyler, Tabitha, Jacque, Bonnie, Erin and other family and friends are doing this for Bryan and all other TBI survivors. If you would like to support our team, the link below will show you what to do. If there is a walk close to you, you can even start your own team and walk for Bryan or a loved one. As always, we have appreciated all the support from everyone!


http://biacal.donordrive.com




We would love nothing more then to have Bryan come home. We know, eventually, it will happen. Even with his continued progress and determination, we also know it won't be happening anytime soon. He requires around the clock care, and with his medications, Gtube and lack of initiation him coming home just isn't an option for anyone, most of all him.

We try to start and end our posts with Bryan stories or funny things Bryan has said or done. His most recent is telling us he wants to grow his hair long again. If you look through the pictures on this site, you will see some of him with his long, beautiful hair. We thought maybe he wouldn’t remember saying that or would change his mind but each time he’s asked he said he’s going to grow it out. If he does in fact do this, we’ll have to hold back and not tease him during the growing out phase where it will start to look like a mullet. Our rocker is back!

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Bryan continues into 2012 with his therapies. Along with the Botox, he was fitted for a cast for his left foot because his therapists noticed his foot wasn’t lying flat on the ground when they stood him up at the standing table. From being in a bed for so long the feet start to droop, which they call Foot Drop. The cast goes on for 2 hours at a time and then removed, to allow air. Since wearing the cast the physical therapists said his foot is almost now lying flat on the ground. He seems to enjoy the manicures and even told Bonnie to fix a nail the other night. He still doesn't like us to touch his feet though, so we have to be quick about it.

Everyone here has come to “know” Bry in the past 9 months. Whether it be from the news or from this site, bits and pieces of the man Bryan was has been told. We thought we would share some stories of the Bryan before this happened, so you could get to know him even better. These are stories we often remind Bryan of while sitting with him. You all know Bryan was, and is, hilarious. Everyone would vouch for that. He also loved music and concerts. He worked out, loved his children, loved the Giants and the Cowboys and loved his job. For the most part, we were a close family, both immediate and extended, with annual “Stow Family Barbeques”, and dinners on birthdays. Bryan was outgoing and the life of the party and was VERY meticulous about his appearance, especially his hair. As Tyler and Tabitha got older, Bryan started taking them to sporting events and had tickets for them to go to a concert when he got hurt.

One year for Ann’s birthday, Bryan got them tickets to go see Neil Diamond. Yes, Bryan loved heavy metal and rock but he also loved Neil Diamond and would argue with Erin, (a huge Elvis fan) that he was the true king of rock.

On a side note, we have decided to close down the online store but want to thank everyone who is out there supporting Bryan and wearing a For Stow sweatshirt, shirt, hat, lapel pin, or a decal sticker on your car. We want to say a HUGE thank you to Joel and Brook at JS Designs for, since day one, printing and shipping the orders and only requesting reimbursement for shipping. The online store was instrumental in fundraising and we deeply appreciate JS Designs for all they have done.

We picked this song for the update because it is one of Bryan’s favorite Neil Diamond songs.

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Wow. What a year. You would think that March 31st would have been what defines 2011 for our family. But actually, it’s what we take away from that horrible day that defines it. We have witnessed so much love and support. We are praying 2012 will be better for Bryan, Tyler and Tabitha.

Bryan continues with his therapies, exhausted at the end of each day. His therapists are working with him on using a manual wheelchair, instead of the electric one. His arms are so stiff and his reaction time is slow, so they want him to practice bringing each arm up onto the wheels and pushing down. He is able to move the chair little by little, but he has to be reminded to bring his hands back up to the top each time and it is a slow process. He got Botox in his left leg to loosen his ankle since his left foot doesn't go flat when they have him standing at the pedestal. We mentioned to the doctor that if they happened to have any extra Botox, we would be happy to take it off their hands. Wouldn't want it to go to waste, would we?

Jacque, Tyler and Tabby would like to thank everyone for your love and support. Tyler and Tabby received gifts for Christmas that were sent from people they have never met. We know that throughout this, they have learned of all the good people that are out there. People who are standing behind them and their dad every step of the way. Its a lesson they learned the hard way, but its one they will remember forever. Jacque: Tyler and Tabitha could not have had a better support system than what they have with you, Sam, M, and the people surrounding you. We love you guys.

Since March 31st, the 4 of us have been devastated, humbled, torn down and lifted up again. We are far from being a perfect family and we have never claimed to be. This year has shown that we will be united not just the four of us, but Bryan included. We have remained by his side from the beginning and will forever be by his side for as long as he wants us there.

Along the way, we have met some incredible people who will be a part of our family for the rest of our lives. Unfortunately, it also brought people into our lives who have hurt us, made us doubt ourselves and tried to tear us apart. It’s because of our love for each other and the support we have received from our family, friends and thousands of strangers that have helped us overcome the negativity that came along with this. And for this, we will be forever grateful.

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Merry Christmas Eve everyone!! Hard to believe that Christmas is here, and 2012 is right around the corner. We feel so blessed that we are able to spend Christmas as a family. We take this time to reflect on what the meaning of Christmas is and every one of you have shown us the true meaning. It's family, compassion, it's giving and sharing without expecting or wanting anything in return. We are continually humbled by the huge hearts of the people who have supported Bryan, Tyler and Tabitha, and our family.
We want to thank everyone for their kind words and support in regards to the interview on Rock Center. It was a hard decision to make to do the interview but we were assured that we were making the right decision after asking Bryan more then once if he was OK with it. Every decision we have made up until now has been in Bryan's best interest, and it's comforting to know that we can now make decisions WITH Bryan.

After a couple weeks of noticing a change in Bryan's alertness, it was discovered that he had a bladder infection. He's on antibiotics and is doing better but is back to being tube fed until his swallowing gets better. We have been given the OK to give him mashed potatoes and gravy tomorrow during dinner. The bladder infection affected his therapies but he's now back on track. We have decorated his room, which helps him remember what holiday is coming up. His little tree is covered in beautiful ornaments that were sent to him, as well as ones Tyler and Tabitha made with him.

We want to take a moment also to say Happy Birthday to Matt Lee, who would have been 27 today. Not a day goes by that one of us doesn't think about you and we wear your bracelet right next to Bryan's.
We picked this song for our update because the lyrics are truly inspirational and beautiful. It's not the most touching version of this song, but it's for sure the most suiting for our heavy metal lover, Bryan.

From the Stow family to your family....we wish you all a safe and VERY Merry Christmas

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Hi you guys! We are so sorry it has taken us so long to post an update. As you can guess, life has been crazy.

The response to Bryan and our Thanksgiving Day picture was unbelievable!! So thank you!

Bry continues to amaze us with his strength and his determination. He proves it daily during all of his therapies.

Last week he had surgery to remove the kidney stones. As expected, he was uncomfortable afterwards, but continued with his therapy schedules.

An interesting change we noticed, is he no longer wants us touching his feet and hands. Which makes it a challenge to keep them looking good. One time Bonnie tried to be sneaky by doing it while he was sleeping. She clipped one toenail, his eyes popped open and he forcibly said "no Bonnie!". We've learned to just talk him through it and promise not to hurt him.

The other night Jacque brought Tabitha to painting class with him. She brought some ornaments they painted together (and turned out beautiful!). As they were leaving Bryan said to Tabby "I love you baby". What a special moment for her and according to Jacque, Tabby was beyond happy.

We love these small (yet huge) moments with him and couldn't be more blessed to have him here.

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It has been a long time since our whole family was together on Thanksgiving and we could not feel more thankful and blessed. Our friends Brian and Steve from Los Angeles who are now a part of this growing family, joined us and Bryan for an amazing Thanksgiving dinner. 


 

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Hi everyone!

This week Bryan has continued to show his incredible strength in therapy. Although it’s VERY hard and painful for him at times, when asked if he wants a break he often time says no. He has shown confusion, answering questions wrong or just not knowing the answers. But, in typical Bryan fashion there are goods with the not-so-goods. Along with his dedication in therapy he continues to prove that most of the time, he remembers the important things in his life; his children, his family, his friends, his favorite football and baseball teams. He asks if the Sharks won, and if the football game gets turned off while he’s sleeping, he wakes up. As we plan for Thanksgiving, we are well aware we have SO much to be thankful for.

Today we said goodbye to Dave’s brother John, who passed away November 3rd. He fought hard the past year after receiving a double lung transplant in October/2010. Bryan was very close to John, and John took it really hard when he found out what happened to Bryan. Bryan has not yet been told about his Uncle John or his friend Matt passing away and we hope to know when the time is right to tell him. It’s just not now. One thing we know for certain, is Bryan gained another guardian angel.
Our family has been there for us during the hardest times in our lives, and we are standing by them during theirs. Just like we all are standing by Bryan.

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It's update time. How do we top Bryan writing his name?? Well, for starters, he also wrote Tyler and Tabby's! This week Bryan has been working diligently with his therapists, even though it causes him pain at times. The therapists tell us that he works through the pain and has never said no. His range of motion is slowly but surely getting better but his left side is still a lot stronger then his right. He usually writes with his right hand, but he's now writing with his left because that arm is looser. His speech therapist is working on having him eat actual food, which he CAN do but he doesn't always seem to want to.

We've also been noticing more of a sense of humor coming through. The other night Bonnie was visiting and held the phone while Bryan talked with Erin. Erin was asking him questions and he would answer with, "Yeah." She said, "Are you just going to keep saying yeah?" He said, with a smile, "Yeah." We also heard from one of his therapists that she was asking him to bend his leg. He wasn't so she went bent down to do it and he said, "No, wait." She sat up, and bent down again and he said, "Wait." This happened about 5 times and she finally asked him what he was doing and he said, "Messing with you." Erin had asked Bry if he knew her name. He responded, "Miss Sweaty Pants." Bonnie made sure to thank him for the new nickname for Erin and Bryan smiled.

At this point, we are so happy to see him smile, joke, answer questions correctly, and interact with his children since we didn't know if we would see that again. It's those times that make the difficult times easier. Knowing the harder he tries, and fights through the pain, the stronger he will be. With all the ups, there are "downs" but we take them where we can. Though he smiles, it's not the same smile we know to be Bryan's. Though he jokes, the humor is different, though he interacts with his children, he isn't the dad they have known. We picked this song specifically for one sentence. "Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from." Nobody can say where he will be down the road, but one thing is for certain...he has come far, and we make sure to remind him of that every single day.

Happy Veteran's Day. To everyone who has served, or is serving, in our military: Thank you for all you do. God bless our troops.

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