Over two years ago, one phone call started us on this journey. We spent 6 weeks in LA, away from home, unsure if Bryan was even going to live. We then spent 5 months in San Francisco, closer to home but still a drive. Bryan was more stable, but we had moments where we could have lost him. Next, he was in San Jose for 5 months, where we were able to see more of what his injury impacted. We were able to have limited “conversations” with him and become acquainted with the “new” Bryan. He was similar to what we’ve always known, but he was also very different. There was some progress at VMC, but the insurance company felt he was no longer in need of this facility. The time came to look for a live-in care facility that focused on rehab. We chose a great facility -the Centre for Neuroskills in Bakersfield. Even though it was 4 hours away, we felt it was the best fit for Bryan. He received all forms of rehab every day, all while living in an apartment complex with 24 hour care. One of the four of us was with him every day.
After a long two years of being away from home, the insurance company has ceased payment for CNS, so Bryan has come home. Let us clarify something very important -Bryan could have benefited greatly by staying at CNS longer. We are so glad to have him home, but as prepared as we thought we were, it was a difficult transition. Bryan requires so much assistance and it is impossible for Ann and Dave to do it alone. Bryan requires 24 hour nursing care, but this is not covered by insurance. So we had to hire care givers in order to help Bryan to get up and showered in the morning, and get dressed and in bed in the evening. We are now the ones administrating his medical care, scheduling all his appointments, and preparing all his meals. We are not complaining…we have Bryan home! At first look and during conversations, Bryan appears to be doing better, cognitively. But to be with him as much as we are, we see what others don’t. The memory problems, the use of words that do not belong, the pain he is in and the stiffness in his body that prevents him from being able to do things on his own. Due to a huge cut in therapy coverage, Bryan has physically experienced a big setback. We do what we can at home, but he needs the 5 days a week that he grew accustomed to. We just don’t know how to get that for him.
Your support, love and prayers have gotten Bryan (and us!) this far and we can’t thank you enough.

Read More »

Yesterday was a very emotional day. March 31, 2011 our lives were forever changed. We find it hard to believe that two years has gone by…it feels like a lifetime ago. We look at Bryan and see how much he’s overcome in those two years. He amazes us daily and even though he doesn’t see how far he’s come, we do. We remember 2 years ago, and even recently, when we didn’t know if he’d even live. He’s had many hurdles along the way, hurdles that nobody should have to endure, but for him to be at this point…able to be with us this Easter, truly is a miracle. The obstacles Bryan and our family face now are so different than what we faced before, but they’re still there and we will get through them together. We still don’t know how things will be in the next two years but we do know this-No matter what, Bryan has us by his side every step of the way. The lyrics of this song are so meaningful to us, on so many levels. Bryan truly does have a light in his eyes, he always has and we hope he always will. We will continue to do our best to make sure he doesn’t lose that. These past two years have been emotionally trying and at times draining. When we feel overwhelmed or start to feel negative we need to remind ourselves, and each other, to breathe in and breathe out.

Read More »

Hi everyone! Since the last update, Bryan went back in the hospital for a third time. The staff was concerned about the swelling and color of his leg so he was taken to the ER. It was explained to us that, because of how damaged his veins are, it will take months for the blood clots to dissolve, and he was released after about a week. As usual, if it’s not one thing, it’s another. While in the hospital it was discovered that Bry had a bladder infection.  Bryan is in need of further surgeries for the extra bone growth, but the idea is very scary, since he will need to be taken off the blood thinners a day or so before the surgery. It’s obvious that Bry needs to be on blood thinners at all times, so the doctors need to really be careful. However, any surgeries have been indefinitely postponed.

Read More »

  Looks like a lot of you already know this, but today is Bryan's 44th birthday! With that, comes good news...he was finally released from the hospital, after 3 LONG weeks. We are so happy that he gets to go back to his apartment at his rehab facility that has become familiar to him during this past year and to people who know him and care about him. It's been a pretty tough and emotional few weeks, for all of us and obviously for Bryan too. Since day 1 we have always been very involved in every aspect of Bryan's care and have been vocal about issues. We realize now, after the blood clot development, that we will need to be even more diligent. We may have gotten a little comfortable in thinking he was out of the woods when it came to any major danger. This set back, which was both physical and cognitive, was a big eye opener. We have learned a lot over the last two years and we know him better than anyone. We know immediately if something is wrong. That being said, we are so thankful he's well enough to return "home", and resume his therapies. He's taken a big leap back, so he's going to have to work extra hard to get to where he was. As usual, we will be there to cheer him on every step of the way. 

For Bryan's birthday, we had this cake made by a family friend, which combines his Cowboys and his Giants. Ann brought it over to his apartment and it was planned to have all the residents surprise him. We can't wait for Bryan to be home so we can be together to celebrate his birthday. 

 

Read More »

Bryan is still in the hospital. The trouble is trying to find the right balance and levels between his blood thinner and anti-seizure medications. Due to this problem, new blood clots have formed. One of us is with him every day and it is really hard to see him back in the hospital especially for so long. This is a huge step backwards for him physically. Even with two people helping him, he can stand for only seconds. We are trying to keep his and our spirits up and are now hoping to have him back at his rehab facility apartment by his birthday next Tuesday. If not, then we celebrated at a hospital last year, so we will celebrate at another one this year.

Read More »

Hi everyone. A lot has happened since we last wrote. Right now Bry is in the hospital with a large blood clot that reached from his thigh to his pelvis. He was first admitted last week and was immediately put on several blood thinners and then was released. The swelling didn’t go down and he was in a lot of pain. He was sent via ambulance to the ER and was again admitted Wednesday. He had a procedure done to have a filter put in his abdomen to catch any clots from breaking off and going into his lungs. They also did an injection in his vein to help dissolve the clot and prevent any others.  He’s expected to be in the hospital at least through the weekend. Needless to say, we are scared and worried. We thought we were past the point of being afraid of Bryan even surviving. The doctor told Bonnie last night that due to the size and hardness of the clot, he is surprised it didn’t kill him. Really tough words to hear and now that Bryan is more aware of what’s going on, he’s scared too. We have always tried to shield him from knowing too many of these hard details, but now we just have to deal with it with him and try to stay positive.

Read More »

 

Read More »

Hi everyone,

 

Sorry we haven’t been able to update in awhile. We would love to be able to update more often, but focusing on Bryan as well as our personal lives makes it more challenging. 

 

A few weeks ago, in what seemed to be a spur of the moment decision, we got the OK from Bryan’s facility to bring him home with a caretaker for his first visit. Bryan was also invited by the Giants to attend Game 2 of the World Series! We knew going to the game in itself would be overwhelming for Bryan, let alone the drive up to San Francisco, so we had asked if they could not announce that he was there. The Giants were so amazing that they planned everything so that we could have as much privacy as possible. We were so honored to be there, and we can’t even begin to explain how it felt to be there with Bryan.

 

It’s a huge step that Bry could make the trip home but the day after the game he was exhausted. His being home gave us all a chance to get to know what it would be like when he does get to come home for good. It also helped us realize that he isn’t ready, and neither are we, as he still requires assistance with most things. These are things that we will learn together and eventually we will all feel comfortable when that transition happens, but we are preparing ourselves for the reality that a homecoming won’t be anytime soon.  But, we were so happy to have him home even if for just one day.  As you can imagine, saying goodbye was hard. 

 

We’ve mentioned quite a few times that due to his extensive injuries, Bryan has extra bone growth in all his joints, which causes him pain and limits his movement. This is actually common with TBI’s.  Bryan had surgery this past week to help with the bone growth in his hips. Of course, he will need more surgery, since it’s in all his joints, but they have to spread it out. As you can imagine, surgery for Bryan means a big step back. It will limit his therapies and cause him a lot of pain for the next 4 to 6 weeks.           

 

We continued to be so pleased with the care facility where Bryan is being treated.  They work so hard to make their patients feel at home, and they even recently hosted a Halloween party for all of their patients.  

 

We hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Thank you again for your continued support and prayers. 

Here is a picture with Bryan and his friend Jeremy Affeldt after the game!

Read More »

It’s official! Bryan cheats at Uno and he gets it from Dave.
As always, there are good days and not so good days. Despite the extra bone growth he developed, he still is working hard in all his therapies. It is painful for him and he is adamant that his fingers are broken (they aren’t) and one time insisted he had a broken foot.
His memory is very unpredictable and we don’t know what he will remember and what he won’t. We imagine that this is something that will be a part of his recovery for a long time. Sometimes, trying to bring back those memories for him is fun, however, most recently Bry had forgotten our grandparents had passed away; one in 2006 and one in 1993. We had to help him mourn that loss all over again, which was emotional.
On a happier note, Bryan is back to caring about what his hair looks like and needs to put gel in it every morning. He still loves doing karaoke twice a week and still sings Eye of the Tiger (several times with growls) and has added Genie in a Bottle by Christina Aguilera, which cracks us up every time.
We are still surprised and happy when Bryan receives cards in the mail even 1 ½ years later. To know that what happened to him had such an impact on so many people is truly amazing. We came across this article which we attached below. It meant a lot because it is from our home town of Capitola. The picture that was included was one we had never seen before but still warms our heart. Instead of a song, we think this picture says it all. Thank you to this unknown person and to you all for still caring and believing in Bryan.

http://capitola.patch.com/articles/bryan-stow-support-still-alive-at-at-t-park



 

Read More »

Hi everyone! Today marks 6 months since Bryan moved to this rehab facility. It is really amazing to see his progress, though at times there are some steps backwards. Physically there are still his major hurdles, stiffness, pain, the extra bone growth that prevents him from doing simple tasks such as raising his arms. He is doing an amazing job maneuvering his manual wheelchair himself, even in tight spaces, but it takes him awhile to get where he is going and he gets tired. A wheelchair specifically fitted for Bryan has been ordered so we are waiting for that. Sometimes he gets down or discouraged if he can't do something. We tell him that by working at it, he will be able to do it, and that is something we truly believe. He helped pack his lunch this past week, even making his own peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Tuesday and Friday nights are karaoke nights at his apartment complex. He enjoys going to watch, and he sings the same song every time...Eye of the Tiger. His personality really comes out while singing and he has everyone laughing. Often Bry plays UNO with us or his roommates. We have come to the conclusion that he either doesn't know the rules or is cheating. Judging by his lack of a poker face, we think it's the latter. We know we have said it before but Bryan's smile and laugh means the world to us. Little does he know that with a simple smile, and without saying a word, he lights up the dark.

Read More »